It may not be those exact words, but this heartbreaking sentiment is one that we hear every day at Open Arms Adoptions.
The desire to be a parent…to nurture and love a child…watching them turn into their own little person…is innate in some of us. We can’t remember when that thought entered our minds; it’s just always been there–that hope, that want, that need. And, in truth, most of us carry the assumption that we have some control over when and how that happens.
For the “lucky” ones, that assumption is true. Parenthood is prevented when we know we’re not ready. When we deem ourselves “ready” to embrace all of the joys and responsibilities of bringing a new little person into the world…we do. Granted, we have to wait about 9 months, but those months are spent with a (somewhat) definite end-point in our minds. We count down the days, prepare the nursery and pick out names.
For the families that come to us hoping to adopt a baby, the journey hasn’t gone as planned. Instead, their paths have been wrought with disappointment, heartbreak and financial investments without return. It’s hard for them not to give up hope! Marriages are stressed; faith is tested and folks begin avoiding baby showers, kids birthday parties and family gatherings where insensitive questions about “when” are inevitable.
Making the leap to learn about adoption can be like jumping the Grand Canyon! For some, this means grieving the loss of the “dream child” that they had hoped to create and cherish with their partner. For others, the leap isn’t quite as big, but a process nonetheless. Instead of counting off the days on the calendar, knowing that there’s an end in sight, they wait…and wait…and wait. Will they have months to prepare? Days? Hours? Should I buy the crib now or will it be too hard to look at the empty crib–every. single. day.
Check out Scott and Sarah’s story. It may be painfully familiar to some. The message of their story, though, is HOPE. Open Arms Adoptions was very blessed to play a small part in bringing this beautiful family together.
Watch. Enjoy. Cry. HOPE!
Readiness looks different for everyone, but some common signs include feeling genuinely curious about adoption, imagining parenthood outside of pregnancy, and noticing that hope is slowly returning. You don’t need to feel fully healed. Emotional readiness is a gradual shift, not a sudden decision.
There is no required waiting period; readiness is personal, not time-based. What matters most is that you’ve had space to grieve and feel genuinely open to exploring a new path. Some families move toward adoption within months; others take years. Both are valid.
It depends on the adoption type, but most finalizations, including joint adoptions, take a few months once paperwork and any required home study are complete. Your attorney or adoption counselor can give you a timeline specific to your situation.
Open Arms Adoptions is 501(c)3 non-profit agency licensed by the State of Ohio.